Recipe for a NYC Cake

Maia Enrigue Luiselli ’28 

Are you feeling especially joyful? Well there’s nothing quite like a NYC Cake to ruin your day! 

Start by mixing: 

3 pennies off of the sidewalk 

2 cups of uncomfortable eye contact with strangers

1 tablespoon of bad music, blasted by your neighbors 

Combine in a large mixing bowl until ingredients have binded together into a grey paste. 

Slowly incorporate liquids: 

1 teaspoon of deli coffee for every time someone mentioned how slow the bus was (today)

2½ tablespoons of half-melted grey snow

3 watery overpriced matches 

Once the ingredients have been blended, place your mixing bowl into a lukewarm subway car for 3 days, checking periodically that it has not taken an express train in the wrong direction.