Amazing Puns to Use on Loved Ones
Evamell Sosa ’27
Though being funny is a challenging skill to master, fear not! I am here to assist you in this daunting task with 11 fantastic jokes to tell those around you. Take it from an expert (with a track record of eliciting laughter): you and your friends will undoubtedly enjoy all of these hilariously punny quips and witticisms.
Jokes for Your Mother:
Let's start with the BEST jokes to tell your mother, especially since Mother’s Day is
approaching. One of my personal favorites is:
Q: What are the three quickest ways to spread a rumor?
A: The internet, the telephone, and telling your mom.
You should definitely share this one, especially if your mom has a big mouth. She’ll surely find your apt connections between comedy and real life to be both hysterical and witty. It’s pretty poetic.
Q: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
A: Where’s Pop-corn?
This one is especially funny if you actually don't know where your father is. My friends love using this joke; it can provide a fantastic breakthrough in your family life. It can answer the question you’ve always thought about: Where is your father?
This next one is the perfect joke to get yourself out of a sticky situation, so feel free to use it whenever you find yourself in a predicament.
Mom: “Look at that kid over there; he’s not misbehaving.”
Kid: “Maybe he has good parents, then!”
Your mother is sure to laugh her head off at this; I mean, what’s better than being called a terrible mom while reprimanding your child? Your mother will quickly reflect on herself, causing her to burst out laughing.
Jokes to Share with Your Friend(s):
Let’s move on to amazing jokes to tell your friends. These jokes will definitely keep them by your side.
Q: Do you know how I’m sure we’ll be friends forever?
A: Because we’re too lazy to find other friends.
This joke is the best. Not only does it show that you’re serious about your friendship, but it demonstrates you have similarities. Be sure to share it with an overly sensitive friend; I bet they’ll appreciate it!
Q: How do you know you’re ugly?
A: If you always get handed the camera for group photos.
Ha! This one cracks me up every time. I always used to tell my best friend this joke after asking them to take a picture of me and our other friends. They usually fell quiet, but I’m sure it just took them a second to realize the pun. Now that I think about it, it’s been a while since we’ve talked. But that’s beside the point; onto the next joke!
Q: Why is it hard for a communist to tell a joke?
A: It's not funny until everyone gets it.
Make sure to tell this one to a friend from a different country, particularly a communist one. They will appreciate that you’re respecting their government and taking the time to make them laugh!
Jokes to Tell Your Partner or Crush:
The jokes below will surely make your significant other fall in love all over again. These jokes are so good they won’t know what to say! Enjoy.
“My name is Elmo. But you can tickle me anytime you want.”
“You have nice child-bearing hips.”
“I’m new in town; can I have directions to your house?”
“I don’t normally chase people, but for you, I’d put my Crocs in sports mode.”
“I bet I could bench-press you. Want to find out?”
These jokes will undoubtedly score you some action. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be chased, followed home, and then bench-pressed? All of these jokes set up dream scenarios. Every time I’ve delivered one of these lines, people have walked away, a sign they’re totally flustered and too shy to respond!
Those are all the jokes I can share. A chef never reveals their secrets, and boy am I cooking with these! I hope you get to try all of these out, leaving people speechless!