The Powers of Vinegar
Evan Farley, ‘20
December
The powers of vinegar are many. Salads, of course, taste great with a splash of balsamic, and white vinegar is proven to remove cat urine for some scientific reason that the chemistry department would probably be happy to explain. Apple cider vinegar can be used as a detox cleanser, and red wine vinegar can be used to throw in the face of a Republican who supports President Trump in 2019 and manages to watch a humanitarian crisis form at our border with people living in ramshackle tent cities, dying of disease and living in terror of the gangs that kidnap helpless refugees who have come to America often fleeing violence and persecution just to work a low paying labor job that is in high demand because few American wants to do such tedious and difficult labor but are still rejected from even receiving an asylum hearing because the racist administration is run in part by a literal self-described white supremacist that knows their path to victory relies on the full support of the rapidly shrinking base of xenophobes in this country who feel victimized when people call them out for their racism and need a safe space in this country free of people who would tell them otherwise.
While I don’t want to advocate for anyone to participate in a pseudo-scientific diet, I can vouch for the other uses of vinegar. If Republicans aren’t going to watch the country descend into an illegitimate state that regularly commits atrocious violations of international law (Not that we did not do that before Trump, Obama was known for his trigger-finger in authorizing drone strikes regardless of civilian casualties, but it is literally at our border now, and there is no “war on terror” excuse) that is literally repeatedly laughed at on the world stage and blindly follow President Trump as he very clearly enriches himself and abuses his power, then do they even need eyes? If they choose to ignore all the millionaires that have been appointed to leave vital government agencies that they used to fight against in the private sector and are now not subtly disassembling them and rendering important services virtually nonexistent like the ginormous budget cuts to SNAP and the Department of Commerce which controls super important stuff like NOAA and the Census which there is enough to write a whole op-ed about, and the Trump administration wants to defund the science behind climate change and the counting of people in big cities, we have to tell them that it is not ok, that it is not an acceptable course of action to take. When they do not listen to logic or emotional appeals or anything at all, perhaps they will listen to their own pain when a slightly acidic sauce is tossed gently on their face.
Other forms of cooking that rely upon basting meat with vinegar are not considered violence, so why should coating a Republican’s face with the same be any worse? It is not bad at all but a necessary course correction in the USS Democracy to steer away from the horrible iceberg (something else that goes well with vinegar, coincidentally or not) that is President Trump. To have representatives in government who either believe everything that he says or are too afraid to rebuke him lest their constituents take revenge is telling of the time in which we live. When they will only listen to propaganda and cherry pick information and anecdotes to support their racist rants, well, you know what to grab.