APRIL FOOLS: Netflix Announces Release of Film “Six Feet Apart,” Critics and Parents Worry

Jayna Rohslau, ‘22

April 2020

Surely one more foot will make a difference.

In the wake of the coronavirus outbreak, America faces dark times ahead.  Many people have lost their jobs, and others still mourn the loss of their freedom.  Even more worry for their health.  It is troubling, to be sure, as many struggle to figure out their situations.  It is even more troubling to contemplate what may befall the country.  But not all is lost. 

 “In order to commemorate the hope needed in this trying period,” a Netflix spokesperson said on Friday, “Netflix is collaborating with CBS Films to bring a new movie to your screens.  This movie will be called Six Feet Apart.  Six Feet Apart is the touching story of two young people who find love during the Covid-19 outbreak.”  Upon further research, a new trailer has appeared on the Netflix youtube channel.  The movie appears to depict a young woman named Willa, bored of social distancing, who communicates with her classmate Stellan via chat on Zoom.  They eventually resolve to sneak out and meet up, even as they know they must stay six feet away from each other at all times. The movie stars Noah Centineo and Lili Reinhart.

Despite its touching premise, Critics have bashed this film for being too similar to the 2019 romantic drama, Five Feet Apart, which is currently on Hulu.  When questioned on Friday, the Netflix spokesperson dismissed such concerns.  “Actually, our movie is completely different from the one on Hulu,” he said, “for one, this is a movie of its time.  It is a movie about finding love in the time of coronavirus.  Which is completely different from cystic fibrosis(Five Feet Apart) and also cancer(The Fault in Our Stars).  Secondly, the names of the characters in the Hulu one are Stella and Will, while the names of the characters in our movie are Stellan and Willa.  Also, it is completely coincidental that we both have actors from Riverdale in our movies.”

Parents have also voiced their concerns.  “It is the same as the one from Hulu, romanticizing diseases,” said one Park Slope parent.  “When in fact these diseases pose a serious threat.  I know I won’t won’t let my child go see it.”  Netflix opted to comment on this remark as well.  “We would like to emphasize that Six Feet Apart is not the same as the Hulu movie,” the same spokesperson emailed her, “for one, six is greater than five. Also, the whole point of Netflix is that you can watch from the safety of your home.  And, in case you’re worried for the safety of the cast, everyone washed their hands for thirty seconds immediately after making eye contact.”

Such defense may not be substantiated in the new knowledge that all of the cast and crew now have coronavirus. When this information came to light, Netflix was not immediately available for comment.