Mr. Mueller Leaves BHSEC to Return to Sea
Grace Wan, ‘18
April Fools 2016
On February 26, 2016, the BHSEC community bid farewell to Mr. Mueller, a beloved Latin teacher. Students and faculty members alike wished him good fortune as he began work at his alma mater, New York University. While students were sad to see Mr. Mueller leave, they welcomed Mr. Kosasa, an adjunct who will be taking over for Mr. Mueller’s classes.
Contrary to what students were told, an undercover operation revealed that Mr. Mueller is, in fact, returning to life on the seven seas. “He isn’t actually working at NYU. That was just a cover story,” Dr. Lerner admitted. When confronted, Mr. Mueller himself admitted the truth: “Teaching at BHSEC has been a wonderful experience, but it’s time to return to my true home,” he stated. While many know that he majored in Classics, few are aware that he took on the challenge of a double major and also has a degree in maritime archaeology. He revealed that his sole attraction to Classics was because of The Odyssey’s depiction of a long sea voyages. Mr. Mueller plans to sustain himself and his family on the booming fish trade. “The Adriatic dwarf goby and didogobius schlieweni are especially popular and conveniently abundant,” he explained.
Mr. Mueller has been interested in sailing since he was a child, often going on fishing trips with his family in the summer. He often requested that he be the one to navigate the boat, eventually gaining enough experience to earn the respect of his family members. He still looks back fondly on his first experience captaining a sizable vessel. “When I was 12, the captain of a small ferry let me take the wheel for a few minutes,” he remembered. “The boat was going at an astounding 10 mph, but I knew deep down this is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.” He followed his passion and joined the kayaking team in both high school and college, winning several medals at state-level tournaments. Though he eventually developed a strong interest in Ancient Greek and Roman literature through his archaeological studies, his love of sailing never faded.
By the time he was ready to join the workforce, all boating-related careers seemed to be leading to dead ends. “It just wasn’t lucrative enough to support my family,” he lamented. He soon found a passion for teaching when explaining the difference between a kayak and a canoe to his relatives. It was a “refreshing and enlightening” experience to share his knowledge, and Mr. Mueller has been doing so as a teacher ever since. His love of teaching eventually grew just as strong as his love of boating. In fact, he currently owns two boats and plans to use one as a ferry in memory of his childhood experiences.
Mr. Mueller enjoying fishing, one his favorite pastimes.
Credit: classics.as.nyu.edu.
“I really was torn between staying at BHSEC and leaving to pursue my original dream,” Mr. Mueller admitted. In the end, he was inspired by Shia LaBeouf’s “Just Do It” speech and decided to pursue a new path. There is still a possibility that Mr. Mueller will return to BHSEC in the near future, likely to teach an elective on ancient American literature, Shakespeare’s Roman plays, or even the engineering of sailboats. Whether or not Mr. Mueller returns to BHSEC, his students and colleagues undoubtedly wish him good luck in all of his future endeavors.