April Fools

It’s been confirmed - the BHSEC Quizbowl Club is the worst club in the entire school. It consists of four “committed” people, none of whom actually care about the club, and four others who casually show up and are just using it to put on college applications. One of the students in charge of it, a Year 1 who wishes to remain anonymous out of shame for being so deeply involved, says “I regret ever making the decision to join this ‘club’ and associate with it because it has just lowered my self-esteem and been a waste of my precious time.” This person also believes that they were unfairly coerced into coming to the first meeting. Other members of this club report having similar experiences, and cite the dictatorship formed by the club leader, a so-called “Quizbowl Queen,” as the main cause of it. Kidnapping used to be one of the primary methods of bringing sufficient people to club meetings. Since reforms have been passed, blackmailing and kidnapping are no longer allowed and, as a result, attendance has dwindled.  Another member made an emotional testimony to a Bardvark reporter explaining that she had tried to get herself out of the hole as soon as she realized what she had put herself into, but was quickly threatened by the current monarch.

Outsiders call the group “a conglomerate of nerds” who should spend some time reflecting on why they’ve decided that it would be a good idea to join in the first place. Others don’t believe that it even deserves to have the title of “club,” since its attendance rates are so low. When asked about the state of the club, the leader would not make very many comments but said that it is due to its members having commitments to sports teams which they value far more than this club. Speaking of sports teams, even the baseball “team” (which isn’t even recognized as a PSAL sport) has a better record than the Quizbowl club.

But there are even more disappointing aspects of this “club.” For example, there is only one freshman involved, who’s only there because they are the sibling of one of those “committed people.” The last tournament was a mess and landed the team in last place, with no games won. They’re often at odds with actual, successful clubs, such as Model UN, for space at BHSEC on the weekends. Being trampled on by real activities is not something new for Quizbowl. Across the country, it is never taken seriously. Here at home, though, it looks like it will die out soon if people do not join the nerds in their search for knowledge. As one possible communications director of the Quizbowl team, who hasn’t formally been given the position because of the leader’s monarchy, stated: “other activities take precedence over Quizbowl. This is just the natural ordering of activities. The cut-throat environment between clubs has truly led to the end of ‘nerd central.’”

One thing remains crystal clear: the legacy of the former BHSEC student who started the club in 2016 (and was very, very good at competing) was very short lived under the leadership of one particular Year 1. This is what happens with many powerhouse clubs when the torch is passed to faulty groups. It’s also the case with the Debate Team, and especially with the Math “Team,” which was going strong and had lots of hope until it fell into the hands of some students who had no idea what the American Math Competition was until a certain possible Quizbowl Communications Director explained it to them (maybe Quizbowlers aren’t all that bad?).

If you would like to be part of an actually amazing club, please consider writing for the Bark. They’re going to need a reliable replacement to continue their great work.