Affirmations That STILL Won’t Make The Stress of The College Process More Manageable

Livia Miller ’18

College satire (illustration credit_ Grace Wan 18')
College Satire, referenced in page 5. Illustration Credit: Grace Wan, ‘18
  • I possess the qualities needed to be extremely successful.


This is a nice one to say everyday or think to yourself when admission deadlines seem particularly looming. It won’t help you deal with the fact that your laziness in the past has set you up for disappointment, or the awareness that your aspirations are fundamentally unreachable, but you might feel better for the few seconds it takes to bring that affirmation to mind. Just kidding! Those seconds would be much better spent working.


  • Creative energy surges through me and leads me to new and brilliant ideas.


This affirmation might help channel the artistic prowess necessary to write a killer essay, except that you probably haven’t had a genuine creative energy surge since at least 2007. Brilliant ideas? You don’t know her. If you genuinely need help articulating thoughts into even semi-coherent prose, this mantra will be about as helpful as a band-aid is to a corpse. But hey, since you have no idea how to achieve your goals or what steps you can take towards concrete accomplishments, repeating this string of words a few times a day might be as good as you can do.


  • I am a powerhouse; I am indestructible


Nice one, amirite?! You’re about as indestructible as a house of cards outdoors on a ledge of a cliff on a windy day. It would be nice to convince yourself that you possess reservoirs of internal strength and resilience, but alas. Your self worth is far too conditional, and based on the equally shoddy footings of other people’s validation. You might be an indestructible powerhouse, but the college process is a wrecking ball in a cloud of detonating TNT.


  • I am at peace with all that has happened, is happening, and will happen.


Peace? You don’t know her.


  • My life is just beginning.


This one might come in real handy if you hadn’t been conditioned for  many years to see college acceptance or rejection as the end goal of the entire education system. Repeat this one to yourself when the pressure of cementing the hard work you’ve put in or being rejected by the bastions of education seems to be too great- or don’t. There’s no way it’ll be helpful.


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