Tips For Surviving April Fool’s Day

Sierra Block Gorman, ’16

April Fool’s Day can be a tricky time for anyone who isn’t interested in tomfoolery. For those who want to avoid being April fooled, here are a few handy tips:

  1. Whatever anyone says, the word “Gullible” is not written on the ceiling. It is, however, still in the dictionary. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.
  2. Do not accept any food or beverages anyone offers you. Just for one day, don’t be a moocher; it’ll come back to bite you.
  3. Be wary of water fountains, sinks, basically anything that water comes out of, unless you want wet clothes.
  4. If someone tells you there is a surprise quiz, test, project, presentation or homework due today, it is not due today. It may not even exist. Check with multiple sources before freaking out.
  5. If someone tells you life-changing news, take it with a grain of salt and ask again tomorrow.
  6. There is no pool on the roof, no matter what the upperclassmen may tell the freshman.
  7. The person you are talking to is not your friend’s evil twin. It is your friend.
  8. Be very suspicious of any sudden declarations of love. Though that would be a great way to reveal your relationships to your friends…Not.
  9. If anything you own is not working correctly, assume it is your friend’s fault.
  10. Do not let anyone borrow your phone for any reason. They will mess with it. And probably prank call someone.
  11. It isn’t April 2nd. It isn’t March 31st. It’s April 1st. It’s also a Wednesday. Probably.
  12. Lock your locker. Just for today. This is the one day when people might actually take advantage of your trust.
  13. Be careful when entering rooms. There may be people hiding in the closets waiting to jump out.
  14. Don’t leave your stuff lying around, as people might hide it in inconvenient or embarrassing places.
  15. Just to be safe, better follow all these rules on April 2nd as well. They never expect it on April 2nd.

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