Ms. Walk Becomes Omniscient

Lucas McGill, ‘15

“It was amazing,” a freshman began, regarding his recent ejection from BHSEC’s fourth floor library, “She knew I was going to eat in the library before I even started — before I even knew I was going to!” A few weeks ago, rumors began circulating around the school that Ms. Walk was nearing the end of her evolution towards omniscience. But these are the first substantiated claims to prove that Ms. Walk has, in fact, become an all-knowing being.

In an interview with the newly-minted superior being, Ms. Walk revealed that her premonitions are always preceded by an acute headache, and always pertain to students goofing off in the library instead of working or studying. Nearby observers have noted that during these premonitions, Ms. Walk’s eyes begin to glow as she mutters to herself in some long-forgotten tongue. Students thrown out by the clairvoyant Ms. Walk are often more impressed than upset. One remarked that “it’s like “Minority Report” but with less vomit and touch screens.”

What occult rituals she has performed, and which eldritch abomination bestowed upon her this unholy gift, Ms. Walk would not reveal. At press time, she reminded this reporter that this was a silent period, and if he was not studying he should take it somewhere else.

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