Tristan Hickey, ‘16 and Liana Van Nostrand, ‘16
Welcome to “Let’s Exchange Thoughts,” a monthly column by T. Hickey and L. Van Nostrand. “Let’s Exchange Thoughts” is a time-honored Bardvark tradition, revived by yours truly this year. T. Hickey and L. Van Nostrand will be answering your questions all year! Submitting questions is easier than applying to college, being quiet during silent periods, and remembering to upload assignments to turnitin.com, so they hope everyone will get the chance to exchange thoughts with them! Your questions can be quirky, funny, serious or even slightly inappropriate.
Why doesn’t Ms. Fu know my Chinese name?
Although T. Hickey and L. Van Nostrand do not toman la clase de chino, they bet Fu Lǎoshī tiene her reasons.
Why are there no more clocks in the classrooms?
Firstly, time is an illusion. Secondly, after hearing a very inspirational “Welcome to the College Program” speech by Leon Botstein, T. Hickey and L. Van Nostrand took it upon themselves to throw away all the clocks in the classrooms. They have learned from Botstein Lǎoshī that truly enjoying something means one doesn’t realize the passage of time. Next time you really want to know how much time you have left in Calculus, you should head up to Annandale-on-Hudson for a meeting with Botstein Lǎoshī.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
To the multiple people who submitted this question (7 to be exact) — ya’ll are original.
However, if you really want to know, about a week ago a woodchuck told T. Hickey and L. Van Nostrand that she could chuck 21 cords of wood per day. But who’s counting?
How are underwater trains, tunnels, and circuits built?
What is your favorite thing to do to calm your nerves when you have a research paper due, 2 essays due, a quiz, and an exam the next day (note: may be a hyperbolic circumstance)?
When L. Van Nostrand feels overwhelmed, she likes to take a cup of Earl grey tea (milk with one sugar), look at the night sky (or the sunrise because we’ve all had those nights), and practice the deep breathing techniques she learned in Ms. Schultz’s yoga class. T. Hickey on the other hand prefers to angrily vent to all of his friends via text message (L. Van Nostrand can confirm), and binge watch “Desperate Housewives” on Netflix. Finally, after an episode or two, when he realizes he is wasting his time, he likes to eat a Snickers bar or two (or three), and then get back to doing work.
How many of these questions did you guys get?
After aggressively shaking their question box at you all during their free periods, T. Hickey and L. Van Nostrand collected a total of forty-nine questions! Fun fact: three of them concerned Bruce Matthews! If you want to submit a question for their next issue, please find T. Hickey or L. Van Nostrand in the hall or submit a question into the newly-decorated question box.